Rhys brushes his tongue over my lower lip. For a second, the kiss is almost tentative. Then my mouth opens, and he lets out a quiet breath as he kisses me fully.
His hands hold my face. The water is cool around us, but his mouth is warm. I slide my hands beneath the back of his shirt and grip his shoulders. He draws me closer, his palms moving over my sides and down to my thighs. My body presses against his. I feel his erection through our clothes, and my breath catches.
My back touches the corner of the pool. Rhys kisses along my neck, stopping wherever my skin reacts beneath his mouth. I want him everywhere. The only thing keeping this from going further is that our friends are still here.
Behind us, Bianca and Jules finally push Livia into the pool. She hits the water with a splash and a string of curses. Rhys draws back, resting his forehead against my temple. His heart is pounding against me.
All I want is to go to bed. I know there are reasons that would be a mistake, but I can't get hold of them yet.
“You've had a few surprises tonight, Bianca,” Dane calls.
She swims on her back, smiling up at the narrow strip of moon. “Then I think I've done what I came to do this week.”
Livia wipes water from her face and pushes her wet hair back. “Your goal was to throw your bra from a Ferris wheel and shove me into a pool?”
“More or less.”
Jules sends a beach ball straight at us. I duck away from Rhys. My face is hot, my smile hurts, and my whole body is still buzzing.
I try to remember the world beyond Cape Lark, but I feel completely here, with him, and nothing else seems important.
• • •
After we dry off, climb the stairs, and say good night to everyone, my nerve begins to fade. Rhys holds my hand as we walk down the hall and enter our dark bedroom.
The door has barely closed before he presses me against it. We haven't stopped touching since the pool, but alone together we both hesitate. Our hands are joined between us. One of us is trembling; maybe both. Our breathing is shallow.
What happened downstairs wasn't false, but it happened with everyone around us. This is different. Neither of us seems to know what comes next. My body is sure. My mind isn't.
I have spent months trying not to miss him. How will I bear wanting him again, knowing what I lost?
His pulse beats beneath my hand. I lean into him, my chest against his wet shirt. He breathes out unevenly.
I have missed his touch. The kiss at the pool has only made me want more. I can feel the tension between us, and neither of us moves away.
“Is this okay?” he asks, his voice rough.
I lean toward him. His hands slide over my damp satin dress and up my stomach. His mouth moves along my collarbone. He watches me as his hands reach my chest. I press closer. When his thumbs brush my nipples, I arch and catch my breath.
He slips one strap from my shoulder and kisses the skin beneath it, then moves the other strap aside. His hand slips beneath the loose top of my dress. I brace myself against him as his mouth moves lower. He draws the dress down to my waist and kisses my chest, his hand moving over me.
“Tell me to kiss you, Mara,” he says.
I want him to, but something holds me back. Maybe I'm afraid of how much I want this. Maybe I can't bear to ask him for more.
“Tell me to kiss you,” he says again, moving between my thighs.
I grip his waist and pull him closer. I can feel his pulse, though I can't tell whether I'm feeling his or mine. The difference between us seems less clear by the second.
“What are we doing?” he asks.
“I thought it was obvious.”
He moves against me. My hands go to his hips as he lifts me, and I wrap my legs around him. His body is hard against mine. I want him in every way I can imagine. I want us to stop thinking and keep going.
“What does this mean?” he asks, still holding me close.
“I don't know.”
A frustrated sound leaves him. He goes still, keeping me against the door.
“This is a bad idea, Mara,” he says after a moment. He lowers me but doesn't step away. “We can't be together.”
The words hurt more than I expect. “I know.”
I do know. He broke my heart. Even if I could forgive him, he has a new life now. There is no going back. Still, hearing it makes my chest ache. I push at his shoulders and pull my dress straps back into place.
“I'm sorry,” he says, stepping away. “I wasn't thinking.”
“I'm not sure you were the one who started it.”
He rubs the back of his head. “I'm not sure I wasn't.”
“Then I should say I'm sorry too.”
His mouth shifts, but he doesn't smile. “This place.”
This place makes it easy to forget the lives we have outside it, and everything that ended us. It doesn't change why we can't find our way back to each other.
I put my palms against the wooden door. “We got carried away. That's all.”
After a pause, he says, “I don't want to do anything else that hurts you.”
“You didn't.” I know I am the one hurting myself.
He glances at the door. “I think I should go for a walk. Cool off.”
I want him to stay. I nod anyway.
His gaze moves over me once more, and I feel the heat of it. “The bed's yours,” he says, passing me to open the door. “Don't wait up.”
I'm not waiting for him. When I get beneath the sheets, I feel his absence everywhere. The breeze from the open window brings back the memory of his mouth. The sheets brush my legs, and I remember his hands. The house creaks, and I hear his voice asking me to tell him to kiss me.
I try to think of something else. My thoughts return to him.
Earlier, Bianca and I had been resting our chins on our folded arms at the edge of the pool, kicking slowly through the water. She asked if I'd made any progress on my goal for the week.
I looked straight at Rhys.
“Not yet,” I told her.
I still don't know what I need from this week. To get to the end without falling apart? To avoid making things harder for Livia and Dane before their wedding?
I've spent most of my life following one clear plan: becoming a veterinarian. It made decisions easy. Outside of work, I rarely had to choose what I wanted.
But I don't want to reach the end of the week with regrets. I want to use this time in a way that feels like mine.
I fall asleep asking myself the same question: What do you want, Mara?
I dream Rhys climbs into bed beside me. “Arms up,” he says, pulling my T-shirt over my head. He kisses my stomach and the inside of my arm. “There's no one else,” he whispers. “Perfect.”
Before sunrise, I wake alone.